Being a parent

This whole post will be about baby boy because he is awesome and growing up too fast.

Every day he does something so cute that I need to pinch myself just so I can remember that this is life and not a dream. This afternoon we took a nap together after a morning of nonstop play - building blocks, colouring in, learning to read and playing soccer. Exhausting stuff. In between the hanging out he's sure to let me know when it's time for a snack or lunch or water. Yesterday I was late with breakfast and had to rush as he stood by the table repeating the word "bekaaas". All I could do was smile while replying that it'll be ready soon. It's funny to think that someday he'll be making his own breakfast. But for now I'm happy to serve my little sweet boy.

We've started a program called brillkids which teaches babies and toddlers to read. The concept is pretty exciting and has taught me to enjoy the journey rather than focusing on the results. A friend introduced me to the idea of teaching baby boy to read and after spending time with her and her son, I was hooked. After about a month of what I call 'school sessions' baby boy's vocabulary has increased immensely. He points and names everything from birds to keys. It feels really good to see the excitement on his face when he recognizes an object with its name. I've also been better at speaking Xhosa with him and he is beginning to respond as he does to English. Kids are so smart! It fascinating to watch how quick they're able to absorb and retain information.

With all the learning and the growing ability to express himself, this dear baby is becoming a touch more assertive. He gets his point across with the new found words and when one isn't at hand, he's actions are loud enough. He is also more aware of his personal space which is something I am learning to respect. I've found that when he doesn't want a hug, he doesn't want a hug. And as a parent it's possible to assume a superior position and force a hug regardless of the obvious objection. That forceful approach doesn't sit well with me anymore. I'm no authority in child behavior or communication but when it comes to my kid I feel that such a forceful act, even out of love, is teaching the child the wrong message. It says that his/her little voice doesn't matter. And because an individual is older,  they have a certain power over them and in this case, over their body. I understand that I'm not the first person to raise a child but it's nice to remember that this is my kid and I'll raise him the best way I know how. And by that I guess what I'm saying is that: if my kid doesn't want a hug, he doesn't want a hug, don't force it. In the same way we as adults get to choose who is or isn't allowed in our personal bubble. I would imagine that a baby or toddler's personal space is even more sensitive than ours because they haven't yet learned society's "polite" ways. This might be even more of a reason to respect their space and allow them the time to freely express themselves before that freedom is condensed into wearing a daily life mask.

This being a parent thing is pleasantly challenging. It grows and stretches you. And no matter how much advice you seek, you still have to do the work yourself. And this is important work, you're helping shape and influence thoughts, ideas, dreams and potential. I have a feeling that baby boy already knows who he is. Life will happen and he might forget. But luckily he has parents who care for him and it is my prayer that he remembers how he was brought up. Every day we put in our best efforts to assist him in having the freedom, guidance and love to comfortably be himself. And until he can fully verbalize and assert his position on this beautiful earth, trust that his mama and dada will be his advocates.