To each his own

Baby boy and I made new friends today.

Hmm, how do I say the next part in a manner that makes some sense?

Often mothers expose themselves to psuedo-friendships due to their because their children are the same age. Not so says I. I'll tell you this, I'm very bad at small talk or disconnected conversations. They're awkward and make me feel intensely uncomfortable, so for such reasons I avoid such gatherings/relationships. This makes finding a friend for a toddler a little more challenging but it's possible. It gives you an opportunity to step outside of your comfort zone and be more open to conversing with complete strangers. Sometimes there's a click and a great friendship emerges but often you chat and never see one another again. It becomes incredibly exciting when the parent to parent friendship blossoms, coupled with kids who really enjoy one another's company. 

This friendship approach has brought many different cultures into our lives. And there's nothing I love more than a rainbow lifestyle (a little South African plug there). Since moving to the USA I've been exposed to more Africans from other parts of Africa, then when I lived in South Africa. It could be that when you're in your own country you become set in the ways of that land and only expose yourself to what you've always known. Maybe people from other countries seem too different or as I've often been referred to here "very interesting". That's probably a complimentary "interesting", a sort of "I don't have you figured out so I'll smile, nod and keep my distance because I can't quite place you in my box of understanding". I do have a handful of American born friends but mostly my friendship connections are with other foreigners. I'm not sure why that is. Maybe it's because these relationships flow easier. And you're not the "interesting" one. 

Whatever it is, it's ok. 

Growing up, my ma was big on us gaining life experience through exposure - because of this we were able to see various perspectives on how different people lived and we came to not fear the unknown. We grew up knowing folks from different walks of life and I believe this helped us become comfortable in our own skins. I think when someone is comfortable with who they are, it is easier for them to accept others for who they are. Without trying to make sense of it. Because in someway or other, neither of us make sense. Ok, that was a weird sentence. But really, dear husband will tell you that I confuse him at least once a day. And sometimes (like once a year) he confuses me. Because I'm a women and he's a man and we're human. We are complex. We do not and cannot fit into a box. We evolve and make decisions that grow and change us. So we don't really make sense. But that's ok. As long as the fundamentals are clear. What are the fundamentals...that's a post for another day.

So, possibly the trick to a good friendship is spending time with people who are ok with who you are. People who allow you to change and grow without trying to place you in their own box of understanding. 

The moral of the story...there isn't one. I'm just grateful for thriving friendships. And it's ok if all these words don't make sense. They make perfect sense in my mind. As my brother likes to say "to each his own".