This morning Urijah cane into our room with a big smile and a polite "good morning mommy". What better way of starting the day? Then he jumped in his daddy's arms as they headed out to give uncle Andrew a ride to work. They do this every morning and usually Zuri stays asleep with me but this morning she was up calling out to her Dadda (and she calls me Nanna). And off she went with the guys. Leaving a very happy mom with the bed to herself (such a rare delight). So yes I snoozed right back to lala land. Ah the joy!
We love having our meals outside and this was the perfect meal for those very warm summer mornings.
The little ones then decided to start their day with a swim and while heading upstairs to get Urijah's goggles, a thought popped into my head "wasn't there something I was supposed to do today?". Then I stood for a moment and ran through the to do list: do laundry, mop the kitchen, take kids to story time at the library, make lunch, prepare dear husband's work lunch, make some phone calls...And then it dawned on me! Nothing on that list was more important than spending the morning playing with Zuri and Urijah. It could all be done later. Because honestly, as a stay at home mom, I am my own boss (Urijah will argue that he's the boss). I can decide how my days are spent. And too often I place urgency on myself on things that aren't even urgent.
Earlier in this homemaker career of mine, I felt the need to fill my days with busy activities just so that I could feel some sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. To feel like I did something important. I'm not saying that cleaning house and preparing meals are not important, those things need to be done. But being busy for the sake of validating your role, now that's silly. Because really, the role of being a SAHM is to be a mom first. And I'd like to be a mom who is present with her children. I don't want to look back and wish that I'd spent more time. Even with them. I want both high quantity and high quality time with the munchkins.
And boy it's not easy to just let go of the to do list, but sometimes it's necessary. Doing this has helped me to not just look at my kids but to truly see them. To not just hear what Urijah says but to listen to him. Others will argue that being around them is enough. And maybe it is but kids are different. I know that my kids thrive when I am paying attention to them. And when we have our downtime or when they're off entertaining themselves, it feels good because our connection has been established.
Moments like this morning builds a strong foundation for our growing bond. I can just feel the joy exploding from within me! And then there's that internal peace. A peace and gratitude. I am so grateful that they chose me to be their mama!
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