Patience

Every night, after both Zuri and Urijah are sleeping, I sit back and replay the day. I do this mostly because I love to replay their cute moments but also to self evaluate. For a long time, as in years, I've struggled with perfectionism. I want to be the perfect mother and wife. Yet the older I grow, the further away that goal seems to get. Wanting to be perfect often leads to me being deeply critical of myself and others. It becomes a point of judgement and contention. Mainly because I know that I'm not perfect either so in some strange way I want other people to be what I am not. It's something I am actively working on daily. To accept myself fully so that I can be more compassionate and accepting of others too. Because at the end of the day, we are all just a work in progress. And these evenings of reflection have progressed from criticizing my own parenting to praying for more patience. Patience with myself, dear husband and the little Schamels. I know that such growth will not happen overnight, but I'm willing to put in the daily work. So here's to a week of progress.