I've found myself getting more and more obsessed with YouTube beauty gurus.
These women are talented. Some are professional makeup artists while others are skilled moms who just know how to work a brush and blend really well. They are self educated in make-up brands and have developed undeniable capabilities in face transformation. And it is clear that their passion is an art form.
One of the most popular of this art form is contouring. And when it first became a phenomenon I too was intrigued at the idea of a higher jaw line. Although I'll admit that I could never cultivate the time nor the patience to get it right. I have a deep respect for those who do schedule moments to follow a rigorous makeup routine. But just like art class in high school, this is a subject I probably wouldn't pass. Here, the skin is the canvas and each woman works with textures, colours, a variety of brushes, there's even a primer and something to set or bake the face. And this remarkable process is to create their individual version of beauty.
This version of that beauty is based on the subconscious definition of what is attractive in their eyes. They don't paint their faces to attract men, it is to tell the world who they are. To bring out whatever level of confidence lies beneath the skin.
It is their skin.
The layer which they choose to show the world. And yes one might argue that it's just make up. But is it? Can you tell someone who has spent 45mins to an hour to create a "beat face", that it's just makeup?
This multi billion dollar industry is clearly a significant part of most women's lives, regardless of colour or background. And I myself have contributed my own cents to those billions. Just as the YouTube beauty gurus, I too want to look my best, even with my poor blending skills. While watching one of these tutorials I heard my favorite Youtuber refer to her contour kit as a "nose job in a container". Before continuing, let's give her credit for the play in words. It was these words that made me pause, re-watch and listen again. I was then interrupted by the still small voice in my head. That voice whispered to me something that I immediately wanted to reject..."could contouring be a subtle form of racism against self"?
After further thought I began to see that contouring presents yet another unattainable beauty standard. The world has momentarily shifted from the focus on a thinner frame and replaced it with an emphasis on a thinner face. The connecting fiber here of course is that society's perceived standard of beauty continues to be the eurocentric ideal. In a general sense, black women have a wider nose. And again, generally speaking, Asian women have rounder faces. And with these thoughts, this technique just leaves me feeling unsettled.
And while we're here, let's explore the idea of what is meant by looking your best? Does it mean your nose needs to appear slimmer, thanks to the nose job in a box. Does your face really need to create an illusion of being something either than what it truly is?
As previously mentioned, I too have added my coins to the continuously booming makeup industry. Yet with recent purchases I've found it crucial to question my intention. Am I buying this to hide myself? Is this to enhance what is already there? And if it is to hide seeming imperfections, I try to remember that every action is born from a thought which comes from a feeling. And those feelings are real. They often come from a place of not feeling enough as I am. It is needing to change some aspect of myself to fit whatever is the current "look" in order to be seen as an attractive woman. Because let's face it, we live in a space where it is mostly us women who are expected to change our natural appearance, so that the world can fit us into a box of their understanding.
Is it possible to accept me as just me? To accept you as just you?
Why does confidence have to be the result of an adjusted face?
Does that self assurance still exist if there's no makeup at hand? And yes, I've heard it said that in order to feel your best you need to look your best. If that is true, then surely the work needs to be done in deciding what your best really is.
Then maybe looking your best may need to come from feeling your best. And I dare say that our best cannot be defined by an altered image.
Even as I write this I am conflicted as I admire the work that goes into creating a makeup look. Yet I despise the notion that beauty is designated to one certain look. It's a bland thought that needs to pass over. And at the risk of sounding cliche, beauty needs to be left undefined and surely unrestricted.
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