#ThrowbackThursday

Popped by the land of twitter and SowetoTv had connected me to a tweet that included this picture. Yes, once upon a time I thought mohawks were cool, I still do, in fact I now have a minihawk (new word¿). A rebel with absolutely no cause, just scissors. Anyway thought I'd share it because the quote is cool. Right? Can't remember saying that but darn diggidy I'll take it.

Also, it's been a while since I've included a pic of dear Robdawg, poor guy, I don't want him to feel left out, even though I'm one hundred percent certain he'd rather be left out. Well here is a picture of the soon to be 25 years old dude. Oh, yes, he's younger than me.

Best people

Baby boy is busy singing himself to sleep.

Dear husband surprised us by coming back from work just in time to give baby his bath and put him to bed. That was 2hrs ago. And now the singing has morphed into a little cry. It's a soft quiet like crying so I doubt there's any tears. And since I've already gone in there to, I guess, help soothe him, I'll now wait it out. Not to be selfish or anything bbbbut I ssssure wwwwould lllllike to read my book, so pray with me that he sleeps soon.

Ahhh, fantastic moment of the day was a phone call to my sweet 75yrs old friend, Ronda. She's one of the best people I know! Robert (that's husband) and I were lucky enough to rent from her a few weeks before moving to South Africa. She's just wonderful. The kind of person I'd love to be when rocking the 70s. My dear friend still puts make up on everyday, she enjoys tasteful fashion, she keeps active and has a social life way more active than mine. Husband used to joke about how her calendar put us to shame. She's the kind of person who genuinely cares about people no matter their background and when she says "I love you", I believe it.  She's also incredibly witty and is able to laugh at the physical and mental malfunctions that come with age. Hmmm, maybe malfunction isn't the best word to use here, excuse my vocabulary, it's rather limited lately, hence the binge secondhand book buying that happened earlier this afternoon. Back to the lovely Ronda, oh how l love my friend, she is a beauty. She helps me feel good about everyday life by remembering to focus on what matters most. I love love her. I would cook for her sometimes and today she told me that she still adds spinach to her fried chicken. I used to do that all the time! It's awesome that she remembers little things like that, it makes me feel like she misses me too.

The many reasons I love my friend 1) her love for the Lord 2) her stubborn nature 3) her fierce independence and my absolute favorite 4) the love she has for her late husband. He passed away 6 years ago and she cared for him till the moment he took his last breath. They had been together since she was fourteen. He proposed soon after they met and her reply was "Jimmy, let's at least wait till I'm 16". And sure enough, she turned 16 and married her Jimmy who was I think 2 years older than her. She used to tell me stories about their love, their travels, the babies, their first home, the ups and downs and everything else that makes up a life well lived. A story I think of often was from when they were still engaged. While standing in the kitchen (where we had our best conversations) Ronda held up her textured slender left hand, trying hard to keep it from shaking, she took me back to when she was 16 sitting on the steps of her parents' porch. To a time when her hand was full of vitality and youth, she would hold it up so that the little diamond could catch the sun. And all the while, thinking of her Jimmy.

Even though the diamond was later upgraded, her love for Jimmy remained. Strengthened by the memories they shared.

My good friend Ronda is one of the best people I know.

Happy

Colorado weather is just amazing these days. Now if it could be like this all year round I'd be living in summer heaven. 

Baby boy and I just came back from a water park. He's taking a nap and I'm lazing about, eating an apple and listening to No Doubt as I type. Yaaaaasss! That's how I say 'yes' these days. It's a feel good elongated yes that forces you to smile because there's much to smile about. Right?

Now the differences between SA and the USA still fascinate me. Here they've taken money and created structures where kids splash through shooting water. Back home it's a matter of taking a hosepipe and turning the tap/faucet on and hello DIY splash park. Either way the kids still enjoy themselves. I love that about children. They have an enviable ability to enjoy life no matter the current circumstances. We adults could do wonders with such a care free life approach. It isn't easy when dealing with daily worries and unexpected life detours. But we've got to choose happy. Because being happy feels so good. And it's contagious. Are you feeling it yet? Put your favorite music on and then you'll feel the Yaaaaasss!

Peace

Dating in marriage

I love date nights!

We don't have it often enough but did manage to go out during the weekend on a double date with friends. They have a brand new baby, baby number 3 and the mommy doesn't even look like she was ever pregnant. It's incredible how the body is able to bounce back in that way. Before getting married I really worried about the idea of having kids and never being able to get back to a shape I'm comfortable with. I don't worry about that as much anymore mainly because the myths of pregnancy have been set aside. We're all different and naturally pregnancies are different. The way our bodies respond after delivery is also different. For me being pregnant was a major health blessing. I learned how to eat well, became more acquainted with healthy portions and healthy snacking. Luckily there were no unhealthy or strange cravings. I even started to exercise, this was a big deal considering the last time I broke a sweat from working out was in...high school. After baby boy was born the healthy lifestyle remained a habit. This habit is something I'm able to pass on to him by continuing to create a home where healthy eating and staying active is the norm. We still enjoy the $5 pizza once in a while, but it doesn't taste as good anymore. I'm into Chinese food these days, YUM! There's a restaurant nearby named something I can't pronounce. It's good that I can't spell it either just in case I write it here and it happens to be a Japanese restaurant and here I am talking about Chinese food. A trap for exposing ignorance for sure. Alright back to the pizza, I guess I continue to eat it because I read somewhere that it's good to give your body a break from healthy food in order to give your metabolism a boost. Don't quote me on it. But seriously though, it kind of makes sense in an odd way. Or does it? Oh well, it works for me.

I started writing this post talking about date night. We definitely need more of those. It's nice to dress up and see each other looking young and attractive. No modesty here. Just truth. Every day we wear our roles: mother, father, husband, wife. And sometimes you forget how cute your partner is outside of the daily grind and the to do lists. Date nights are good man. It reminds us that at the end of the day he's my guy and I'm his girl.

That is all.

ps: turns out the restaurant is actually Vietnamese

Being a parent

This whole post will be about baby boy because he is awesome and growing up too fast.

Every day he does something so cute that I need to pinch myself just so I can remember that this is life and not a dream. This afternoon we took a nap together after a morning of nonstop play - building blocks, colouring in, learning to read and playing soccer. Exhausting stuff. In between the hanging out he's sure to let me know when it's time for a snack or lunch or water. Yesterday I was late with breakfast and had to rush as he stood by the table repeating the word "bekaaas". All I could do was smile while replying that it'll be ready soon. It's funny to think that someday he'll be making his own breakfast. But for now I'm happy to serve my little sweet boy.

We've started a program called brillkids which teaches babies and toddlers to read. The concept is pretty exciting and has taught me to enjoy the journey rather than focusing on the results. A friend introduced me to the idea of teaching baby boy to read and after spending time with her and her son, I was hooked. After about a month of what I call 'school sessions' baby boy's vocabulary has increased immensely. He points and names everything from birds to keys. It feels really good to see the excitement on his face when he recognizes an object with its name. I've also been better at speaking Xhosa with him and he is beginning to respond as he does to English. Kids are so smart! It fascinating to watch how quick they're able to absorb and retain information.

With all the learning and the growing ability to express himself, this dear baby is becoming a touch more assertive. He gets his point across with the new found words and when one isn't at hand, he's actions are loud enough. He is also more aware of his personal space which is something I am learning to respect. I've found that when he doesn't want a hug, he doesn't want a hug. And as a parent it's possible to assume a superior position and force a hug regardless of the obvious objection. That forceful approach doesn't sit well with me anymore. I'm no authority in child behavior or communication but when it comes to my kid I feel that such a forceful act, even out of love, is teaching the child the wrong message. It says that his/her little voice doesn't matter. And because an individual is older,  they have a certain power over them and in this case, over their body. I understand that I'm not the first person to raise a child but it's nice to remember that this is my kid and I'll raise him the best way I know how. And by that I guess what I'm saying is that: if my kid doesn't want a hug, he doesn't want a hug, don't force it. In the same way we as adults get to choose who is or isn't allowed in our personal bubble. I would imagine that a baby or toddler's personal space is even more sensitive than ours because they haven't yet learned society's "polite" ways. This might be even more of a reason to respect their space and allow them the time to freely express themselves before that freedom is condensed into wearing a daily life mask.

This being a parent thing is pleasantly challenging. It grows and stretches you. And no matter how much advice you seek, you still have to do the work yourself. And this is important work, you're helping shape and influence thoughts, ideas, dreams and potential. I have a feeling that baby boy already knows who he is. Life will happen and he might forget. But luckily he has parents who care for him and it is my prayer that he remembers how he was brought up. Every day we put in our best efforts to assist him in having the freedom, guidance and love to comfortably be himself. And until he can fully verbalize and assert his position on this beautiful earth, trust that his mama and dada will be his advocates.

Baby boy swims

Monday has always been a slow day in my life. I guess the weekend is often action packed that Monday is unfortunately left to pick up the pieces.

Aside from doing laundry, baby boy and I enjoyed a skype chat with a friend, a short walk and some fun play. During our hangout session he tried to pursued me into taking him swimming. He did this by pointing to the baby swim seat and heading to the door repeating the words "water, go". Luckily it wasn't warm enough to be lounging by the pool side and anyways the swim stuff is more of a Robdawg department. And it's not like baby boy has been swimming forever, his first pool experience was over the weekend and now the poor kid is hooked.

Ah, the weekend.  Warm, lovely and busy. Some spring cleaning on Saturday - don't you just love it when the windows gleam with cleanliness. We had dinner with friends, enjoyed time visiting teaching, uplifting testimonies at church, pool side joy, cooking. And it all rounded off with Robdawg and I enjoying the sunset on the balcony as we read our individual books.   His is about a military sniper, mine is about a young couple in their first year of marriage. And yet we make sense together.

Everything is alright

There's so much to write.

Let me start by thanking you for the emails of concern. Do not worry yourselves, all is well. Life was rough for a while but everything results in growth.

We've had a lot of activity around here. At the moment husband is sleeping due to a week of health issues. We spent Sunday at the emergency room(kidney stone) and after that horror passed came yet another health drama - he's now fighting off tonsillitis...or something of the kind. How can I not be sure? Well between the two of us, we've seen the doctor more times than I care to count. So, I've chosen to drown out the noise, take care of dear Robdawg the best I can while dealing with my own recovery. From previous post you'll learn that I wasn't feeling too well. Turned out I was pregnant. We were even more excited about this pregnancy than the first one because now we felt ready, prepared and confident enough in our baby parenting skills. Unfortunately it was not meant to be. A few weeks into the first trimester the doctor announced that I had miscarried. That was followed by a week of confusion as I didn't quite understand what was going on or how I was supposed to feel. Probably the saddest week of my young life.

After seeking some counselling and supporting one another and receiving love from our friends and family, Robdawg and I decided that all will be ok and that someday soon, there will be another baby. Right now, we're choosing to celebrate the ever busy and incredibly hilarious baby boy. He is sooo grown up!

For a while I wasn't sure whether or not I'd return to this space. That feeling came from a place of sadness, the kind the blankets you into a reclusive state and all you want to do is sleep the pain away. At home I became more of a perfectionist. Cooking, baking and spring cleaning to the point of pure exhaustion. I had to keep busy and get a handle of what was in my control. I soon realised that even though I'm happy to "get things done", exhausting myself was not the healthy option. I am still someone's mother and that someone needs me to be healthy and strong.

What I have learnt is to be kinder to myself and recognize that only God is in control of everything.

Thank you again for your emails. Know that everything is alright, even when it isn't perfect.