Baby steps

I'm so excited I can't sleep. Baby boy took his first step today. Both daddy and mommy were there to witness it. I can't stop smiling. Oh and the Halloween costume was a beautiful mess. Truly hilarious. We attended the trunk or treat party at church where baby boy sat picking off the cotton on his little lamb costume. After several attempts at trying to stop him from overdosing on cotton,  I gave in and gave him real candy, allowing him his first sugar rush. He's had a lollipop once before, funny enough it was also at church. A sister missionary saw that I was in over my head and offered baby a lollipop. A guardian angel if you ask me.

It's been an evening of milestones.

Boy, he's growing fast. I need to sleep, rejuvenate, so that I'm awake to experience the joys of the fast approaching day. Still smiling.

Ps: the below costume belonged to Robdawg!

1989

A glimpse of the day

           

The world we live in

What's going on in the world?

No seriously I really do not know what's happening outside these doors. Besides the fact that it's nighttime and I'm waiting for my dear husband to come home. But that's not the world. It's my little protected world. I mean I haven't got a clue as to what's happening in Washington, no idea regarding the going ons in the Middle East (because there's always something going on in the Middle East), no knowledge regarding my home country ( minus the tweet I read about riots in Cape Town which alarmed me enough to write this post - my family is in Cape Town). By now I'm sure you fully comprehend my clueless state, alright, well let us continue. Once upon a time world matters were at the center of my thoughts. During that life phase it was important to be in the know, engaged and opinionated. I guess I thought I could make a difference and fix some of what appeared to be wrong. I tried. I tried hard. There were many failures but just as many successes. That's the thing with youth, your naivety gives you courage. That's the beauty of youth. And for that beauty I will risk the chance of coming across as "ignorant" by discussing a new direction of thinking. Because there's something really important going on here. And to me that something is possibly more important than the situation in Benghazi (if there's even a situation in Benghazi). Forgive me if that sentence may seem callous. Let me hurry to my point before I really offend someone.

After 12mins of eating up self enforced guilt of no longer being evolved in a "worthy cause", I realized something. Baby boy is a cause enough. Him I can influence. And I feel it important to do all that is within my knowledge and power to bring good into his world. Being a parent is hard work. Soon the world will try to tell him who he is and when that day comes I hope that he will remember Who's he is.

This insane yet wonderful opportunity to be his mother is one that I do not take lightly. It's an indescribable prevelige of a seeded love. It means that our Father in Heaven has entrusted me with one of His spirit children. What an honor.

And yes I may not know who the current president of France is (unless it's still Nicolas Sarkozy). Nor am I publicly active in the betterment of the future of Africa. Luckily for us all there are thousands and hopefully millions of brilliant young minds making a positive impact in our world. This young mind has a diaper to change.

Mary had a little lamb

Moving on up! 15 Things for 2013 are slowly but surely progressing. Number 5 and 6 can be marked off. I've done my best to give the blog a mini make over - did you notice;) and below is the DIY project:

Hello Halloween! To be honest I'm not into celebrating Halloween,  I really couldn't care for it but (and that's a big but) I'm a mom to this cute little baby boy who'd be just adorable in a lamb costume. If there's one thing being a mother has helped me with, it's to take part. It's helped me step out of my self imposed social exile and be more involved with life. So here I present The Little Lamb costume and yes I will be Mary.

Perfect love

Robdawg and I were talking the other day about how grateful we are for having the gospel in our lives. We spent a moment considering what life would be like if we had chosen a different path. I sometimes wonder how anyone can live without believing in something. To me it would be like withering the storms of life with no shelter. The gospel of Jesus Christ helps me put things in perspective and to know and understand my purpose here on earth. No matter what's going on, it's always comforting to know that I am perfectly loved by the all loving Father in Heaven.

3) Lovingly Pat a Dog

Number 3 from the "15 Things for 2013" is done. Earlier this afternoon we happened to spot a man walking with a dog that he'd decorated for Halloween. I don't quite know why anybody would do such a thing nor did I inquire. Can you imagine that pattern of thinking? There you are at home, with your massive dog, maybe watching Lion King, you're bored because your kids have seen this 112 times, somewhere between akuna matata your mind starts wondering, you see yourself in a wide brimmed hat and khaki shorts on an African adventure, befriending your very own Simba, then before you know it, you've transformed your great pekingese into a freak show. People are so interesting. So, here's the thing, I may not have lovingly patted the dog as per my list, but I did jump out of a car parked in the middle of the road and asked a stranger if I could be photographed with his great big animal. I have this idea in my head that one can never fully trust another man's dog. Call me crazy. It's one of those things I carry through life, one that I probably cannot absolutely justify but it leaves me comfortable. Much like taking your makeup off before bed. A preventative measure. So even though I kept my distance, I did willingly (and let's also add lovingly) stand near an unfamiliar dog. And with that I'll now celebrate this life changing experience by retiring to my long awaited sheets. But before I do so, I'd like to know: Do you have any strange seemingly irrational ideas that you live by?

The Dream House

Some day, as our family expands, we'd like to build a home. And even though it's a while till that day arrives, I enjoy browsing pretty images while building the house on paper. Here is the dream in pictures courtesy of Google images.

A Forever Mama

My baby boy. Know that I'll love you forever. You chose me as your mama and a brilliant guy as your papa. Know that he'll love you forever. You're my sunshine, my nunu, my schnookums, my pupu. Know that I'll love you forever. You like to sleep and play and eat. With a smile real big you cling to me. Know that I'll love you forever. Your kisses are messy and leave me with slobber, you my baby are my heart's sweet gobbler. Know that I'll love you forever.

15 Things for 2013

Drills are so much fun and absolutely dangerous when you don't know what the heck you're doing. I would know. I used one today and it totally rocked in that I'm a woman hear me roar sort of way. It also killed my arm - anyone who knows me will tell you that I have 0 upper body strength. And by that I mean I...ahem...cannot do a push up. So in light of such bleak body limitations I've decided to put on this space 15 things I'd like to accomplish before the end of 2013. I was going to procrastinate and leave it for the sure failure of the New Year resolutions train. But, my mind convinced me otherwise. And you know I just can't argue with my mind, especially when it's got a point. Ok I'm procrastinating. Without further adeu:

1) Purchase a vintage piece - a smart buy
2) Do a push up - oh I dread the day!
3) Lovingly pat a dog - shivers
4) Achieve sleep training baby boy - oh he'll love that!
5) Start and finish a DIY project
6) Create a blog logo
7) Send out thank you notes from our wedding - we got married 2yrs ago and the guilt still haunts me
8) Send out thank you notes for baby boy's baby shower - yikes *hides in a corner of shame*
9) Create and post a delicious recipe
10) Get an American driver's license
11) Send Christmas gifts
12) Create a piece of art for my dear husband
13) Make local friends - the joys of being in a new city/state/country 14) Do weekly acts of kindness/service
15) Be kind to myself everyday

I figure by writing this list here I'll be able to hold myself accountable and therefore follow through. Alright well that's it for the I I I post.

Too much thinking

It would appear that I've spent far too much time thinking of what to write this evening. I crippled myself by taking this post way too seriously. Don't you hate it when that happens? It's like the ego sabotaging what works. Authenticity works. And by that I don't suppose that "thinking" is a counterfeit...err...ok, what!? It's been a long day. Grant me a moment of brain shutdown. No walks, no poetry, just a sore throat and a baby with a cold. The laundry got done, floors were mopped, the broom was used, dinner was made and dishes were washed.

And instead of uneccesary further ramblings, let's do what's right and stare at this cute face. That is all.

Life and Laundry

Lazy as can be. I loved this day. Besides missing my dear husband - why does he have to go to work? - today was quite alright. We managed to squeeze in some family time in the morning which also included a mid lunch walk through those beautiful autumn leaves. We walked Robdawg to work but turned around halfway as I'm not one to break a sweat. Breastfeeding is all the exercise I need for now thank you. As baby boy and I said goodbye to daddy I felt my whole body smile. I think I have a massive crush on my husband. Baby boy kept on turning back to wave to daddy, for fear of him falling out of the stroller, I parked by the shade and we watched him disappear with the sun. I love seeing the glow in baby's face when he looks at his daddy. There I go again, getting all mushy and sentimental. It must be those autumn leaves. Ps: baby's got an ear infection (wham! How's that for a change of topic!?). It sucks I'm sure but he's handling it pretty well. I sometimes see him jamming his index finger in his ear, he does it with such purpose I'm afraid he might burst his eardrums! In fact he does most things with a sense of purpose. There's no mucking around here, baby is serious about life, whether it's play, laughing, dancing or eating, he goes in full force. I love him. And by the way, we got nothing done today. Sometimes you've got to choose between life and the laundry.

A Monday Story

Baby boy is one. I know this is last week's news but it really hit me today. He really is all grown up. Today could have been his birthday but because Heavenly Father loves me so much, baby boy made his grand entrance a week earlier - in the early hours of the morning. I still remember Robdawg being attentive and very useful. I guess I had given him a fright earlier that day by demanding that he came home from work because the baby was coming! Well he got home and I hadn't even showered. Since feeling slightly woozy that morning it seemed smarter to not use the shower on my own. My dear sweet patient husband helped me and did all that I needed done. We had done some spring cleaning the week before but I still wanted to make sure things were tidy for when the baby arrived. I wanted our baby to feel that we had prepared for him. Or maybe I just wanted to come home to a clean house. It can also be said that I was just pregnant and finicky. Whatever the reason, Robdawg let me be. We arrived at the hospital at around 6pm and the nurses immediately recognized us from the night before when we were sent home after hours of thinking the baby was coming or rather willing the baby to come. And looking back I see it as a dress rehearsal. It's quite possible that the false alarm made way for a much calmer "real day". The control freak in me even had us do practice drives to the hospital as everything needed to be perfect. Let me explain, who the heck wants a car birth!? Not me no thank you. We're blessed with medical advancements that help folks like me (who fear pain) breeze through childbirth. And by golly I was gonna make it to that hospital in time for that epidural shot! The hours that followed were a dull pain of silent moans with intervals of tv noise. After watching Obama and Romney election debates we were moved into the delivery room where the greatest nurse on earth continued to take care of me. She went as far as making a bed so Robdawg could stay the night with me. And so we slept, only to be awoken by 5 nurses bursting through the doors announcing that It Was Time. And thanks to that incredible invention called an epidural I was as chilled as a butterfly on a summer's day. The next 30mins were a rush. Surreal. Dreamlike. A calm WOW. The doctor was called, my Robdawg was woken up, he came to my bedside to let me know that he wasn't feeling well, the greatest nurse on earth overheard and got him some medicine from her purse, the doctor rolled in looking dead asleep, I teased him asking of he was awake (somebody had to) he pointed his finger at me and with a wry smile he said "you just push, ok". And I did. 12mins later the gorgeous baby boy was born. Let me also add that once Robdawg started feeling better he coached me right through the birth, while holding my hand he let me know that I was a champion. And now as I watch our little champion sleep, I can't help but feel a wave of emotions for my two men. The love of my life and our baby boy. Love is good. Allow me to also add that life is good.

Future MVP

I love weekends! Robdawg allowed me to sleep in while he took care of baby boy. He also made us breakfast, eggs and pancakes yum. The day was an overall hit. We hung out at the ward gym where baby boy was introduced to basketball. He's still fuzzy on the rules but I'm sure it will catch on with time. We figure today will make good content for that future Life of Baby Boy NBA docie. The day got better as grandma and grandpa Schamel surprised us with a stroller for baby boy's birthday. And this means that the next week will be filled with posts of baby and mommy discovering Pueblo. Oh and in case you were wondering, the sleep training has been shelved for the moment due to a pending visit to the pediatrician, we suspect an ear infection is at hand. Poor thing he probably thinks I've given up, little does he know...(insert dramatic to be continued sound).

Incredible Talk

This talk blew my mind. It warmed my heart and I can't help but share it with everyone. Psssd...I don't yet know how to do that fancy-click-on-a-link-with-using-one-word, so until then just do the good'all copy and paste. http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/i-will-not-fail-thee-nor-forsake-thee?lang=eng

Busy bee

A quick recap of the week: Robdawg started work on Monday which has left baby and I doing our own thing. And since it's been cold lately, even snowing, we've had to stay indoors. And being inside means one has to be a whole lot more creative in keeping a one year old entertained. Yes you heard me, baby boy is now 1 years old. Technically it's 1 year and one day. We had a family birthday lunch for him and in about 3 weeks he'll have his well deserved birthday party. This little guy hasn't been happy lately with all that silly sleep training going on. But he hasn't shown any sign of slowing down on the mischievous missions. A few days ago he got stuck in one of the cabinets in the kitchen. He crawled in just fine but had trouble reversing out. And to our dismay he has an unhealthy fascination with the bin! I think this weekend a moment needs to be spent on childproofing the kitchen because I also caught him biting into a raw potato. It's quite crazy to see what little interest he has in playing with his toys. He's an inquisitive little guy, always looking for new adventures even if it means climbing into the dishwasher.

Learning on the job

The sleep training is not going well. Saturday was impressive as he fell asleep within 5 minutes of putting him down. I was extra shocked because he managed to stay asleep even though there was lots of chattering as we had company. And then Sunday night happened, followed by a Monday night that resembled day one of the sleep training mission. I guess it's back to the drawing board. I keep on re evaluating the technique and my approach to it. I'm thinking that maybe I'm being too timid when placing him down? Could it be that he's feeding off my fear/anxiety? Whatever it is I've come 7 days too far to stop now. This experience reminds me of the weeks after he was born. Robdawg and I would do the sleep routine of bathing him, massage and cuddles thinking that he'd willingly sleep after nursing. Oh boy were we ever wrong. He screamed and cried for 2hrs every night and as first time parents we were dumbstruck. With no tricks up our sleeves, the best we could do is walk him up and down the apartment until he fell asleep. It took him a few weeks to get used to that routine so I'm guessing this transitional period might also take some time. And all of this is just guessing really as I don't know much about what I'm doing, talk about learning on the job. Well that's the thing with being the first born. You're a bit of an experiment really. Poor baby boy. Good thing Heavenly Father is watching over him.

The woman in orange

She was wearing this gorgeous orange chiffon skirt. At first her skirt caught my eye but as I looked on I saw that it was her love for her children that made me stare. She didn't seem to mind missing half of relief society to rock her son to sleep. In fact she didn't seem to mind anything at all. As she walked up and down the corridor I wondered why she was so happy. And when I looked at baby boy I knew the answer. She was happy because she is a mother. So I walked up to her and told her how much I loved her skirt.

Food glorious food

Eat and indulge. That's my mom's approach to food and at 45 she still looks pretty good. Ever since I can remember food has been a big part of our family. Even though I'm not gifted in the kitchen, I was brought up by a really good cook. I do need to add that I'm not entirely hopeless as what I lack in cooking I make up in being an eager taster. Since arriving in Pueblo I haven't so much as boiled an egg. My father in law has some culinary skills that will have you counting the minutes to dinner time. Yes yes we are terribly spoilt and loving it. Tonight was no different. After a hearty meal of spaghetti and meatballs we indulged in some chocolate cake. I've asked him for recipes but as always with such creatives no structure just brilliance. It is therefore my pleasure to adhere to my mother's advice and eat & indulge.

Father & son

He loves his daddy.

Rain drops

The vacation fun is slowly coming to a close as Robdawg starts work on Monday. He first has to go through a few weeks of training which means we'll have him home for a few hours during the day. I can't express how wonderful it's been to spend all this time together. Today we had a picnic at the park. The weather seemed great until the clouds started closing in on us, luckily there wasn't a downpour but I did feel a few droplets on my head. We did though get a chance to feed the ducks before running for cover. And thanks to the picnic blanket I managed to keep baby boy from the cold...ps: that's affordable baby wearing from back home. Here's our day in pictures:

Remember to remember

Baby boy smells so good. Especially when he's just woken up and right after his evening bath. It's a warm comforting smell that reminds you that all is well. I love being his mother. He challenges me to be better each day. He's exciting to be around and keeps us busy every day. I think it's easy for us to get lost in what's not perfect and who's not perfect, forgetting what is most important. Baby boy's hugs are perfect. Robdawg's love for me is perfect. And Heavenly Father is perfect. What more could a girl ask for? This right here is a pretty darn good life. I am grateful for the challenges that we've been given. I pray that we be kind to ourselves and not mope around because life has offered some detours. And remember that there is a plan greater than what we could conjure up. And that plan helps us to know that trials are but a privilege to increase our faith. "The happiest people are those who lose themselves in the service of others" and that's a good way to step outside of your self and realize that you are needed.

Sleep training

And he's sleeping. It took baby boy only 15mins to fall asleep this evening. A far cry from last night's war zone. Maybe that 3 day wish is not that ridiculous. It's still early days so we'll see. Here's a picture from our park visit this afternoon.

Supernanny

Huge huge achievement today. I have to write about it for motivation as I suspect I may need it tomorrow night. Baby boy had his first proper session of sleeping training. We've tried it before but the technique didn't work as I had hoped. So I did as any 21st century first time mother would do, I took to Google and found Jo Frost's sleep training technique. I'm talking about that crazy life changing idea of putting baby in his crib after bath, cuddles and any other night routines and having him self soothe. In my case that included breastfeeding. After more cuddles you say night night, place baby in bed. If your child is anything like mine, the tears will start flowing. You then sit cross legged on the floor, brave the screams, your profile to him, making sure to not make any eye contact and you lower your head. And keep this position till baby is sleeping. Easier said than done. It took 52mins for baby boy to fall asleep but it happened. This was the first time he's ever fallen asleep on his own without being rockedror nursed to bed. Jo says that the technique should not take longer than 7 days. I'm aiming for 3, in fact I'm praying for 3! Wish me luck.

Eternal decisions

A beautiful calm Sunday at home watching General Conference with family. Even though baby boy napped through the talks I know he could feel the Spirit. I can't wait to go back and study the talks in more detail. I already feel blessed by watching but I know that I'll be blessed even more by putting the messages given into practice. I feel really lucky to have chosen to be a member of this church. In between watching Conference we went on a short family walk around the neighborhood and popped by where Robdawg and I will be attending college. An overall good weekend. I'm anticipating an even better week.

Robdawg

I've been blessed with a brilliant husband. And that is where I shall leave it today.

Satisfaction

Friday admin day can be real satisfying. It feels good to start the weekend with a clean slate on the to do list. Enrolled in college...check! Something I've been planning to do for the passed 7yrs is now finally done. I haven't decided on what I'll be studying yet but I know it'll be something to develop my creative mind. Maybe a bit of graphic designing mixed with fine art...I still have a little while before making a decision. It'll be exciting to finally have an education. I think being a mother has made me want to learn more. Seeing how baby boy sucks up knowledge has increased my interest in self development. I don't have any big plans of what I'll do with the degree/diploma all I know is that it'll better me personally. And right now that's enough for me.

Busy baby boy

Ah yes! How happy am I to announce that today was a much better day than yesterday? Very! It's baby boy's 1st birthday in 2wks and I'm looking for ways to make it special. Something small and memorable. He's growing up super fast. And I know this is something you'd expect to hear from every mother. But he really is. And we've started to notice a new fascination with tidying up. He likes to put toys and shoes away which sounds great except he places them either in the bin or the hamper. He's a hard working little guy. Today we had a park day to make up for the missed play date yesterday. Amidst the chaos of the day I had to postpone his first play date. For some reason I'd planned it during his nap time, can you say mother of the week! And Robdawg woke up feeling real sick. Let's fast forward to a healthier day shall we. Baby boy loves the swing a bit too much. Some may call me slightly overbearing but the park is my worst nightmare when you consider the possible germs. It takes every part of me to not disinfect everything he touches. I'm still learning to relax and enjoy the moment. It's often easier said than done yet I believe it's possible.

Challenges

It's been a tough day. Sometimes it's good to admit that things aren't as perfect as you'd like them to be. This day kicked my butt. It might have been the blistering dry heat or the lack of sleep. What ever it was, I'm happy to know that tomorrow holds a perfect opportunity to do better and be better. And in doing better I hope to remember the following: 1) Life is not to be rushed - baby boy is going through a lot of changes. We're sleep training him and soon he'll be off the breast. In this quiet moment I see that this transitional process need not be rushed. 2) Listen to the still small voice - it really will guide you. 3) It's ok to be emotionally vulnerable - in a safe space. And most importantly, I need to remember that I may not have power over all my experiences but I certainly have the power to choose my reaction. Time to make better choices.

Good days

Today was a good day. We took to exploring Pueblo on foot which was both exhausting and incredibly fun. I think I've mentioned it before that baby boy loves being outdoors. He's a little traveller in the making. Seeing the world through his eyes is oh so refreshing. We're taking advantage of the time that Robdawg has at home, I'll definitely miss the luxury of hanging once he starts with work. But for now here's our day in pictures.