There's so much to write.
Let me start by thanking you for the emails of concern. Do not worry yourselves, all is well. Life was rough for a while but everything results in growth.
We've had a lot of activity around here. At the moment husband is sleeping due to a week of health issues. We spent Sunday at the emergency room(kidney stone) and after that horror passed came yet another health drama - he's now fighting off tonsillitis...or something of the kind. How can I not be sure? Well between the two of us, we've seen the doctor more times than I care to count. So, I've chosen to drown out the noise, take care of dear Robdawg the best I can while dealing with my own recovery. From previous post you'll learn that I wasn't feeling too well. Turned out I was pregnant. We were even more excited about this pregnancy than the first one because now we felt ready, prepared and confident enough in our baby parenting skills. Unfortunately it was not meant to be. A few weeks into the first trimester the doctor announced that I had miscarried. That was followed by a week of confusion as I didn't quite understand what was going on or how I was supposed to feel. Probably the saddest week of my young life.
After seeking some counselling and supporting one another and receiving love from our friends and family, Robdawg and I decided that all will be ok and that someday soon, there will be another baby. Right now, we're choosing to celebrate the ever busy and incredibly hilarious baby boy. He is sooo grown up!
For a while I wasn't sure whether or not I'd return to this space. That feeling came from a place of sadness, the kind the blankets you into a reclusive state and all you want to do is sleep the pain away. At home I became more of a perfectionist. Cooking, baking and spring cleaning to the point of pure exhaustion. I had to keep busy and get a handle of what was in my control. I soon realised that even though I'm happy to "get things done", exhausting myself was not the healthy option. I am still someone's mother and that someone needs me to be healthy and strong.
What I have learnt is to be kinder to myself and recognize that only God is in control of everything.
Thank you again for your emails. Know that everything is alright, even when it isn't perfect.
