Be Fully You

I didn't plan on blogging tonight as the day was far too busy. 

Little Urijah gave me quite the fun time by managing to fill our toilet with diapers and the rest of what was in the rubbish bin. Once I managed to get all of that out and put him in the bath, I flushed the toilet and it started to overflow. I suppose he must've gotten a toy stuck in there. So when I ran off to call maintenance, he flushed the toilet himself while laughing histerically at the overflowing water. My panic mode was also quite a comedy for him. Luckily the maintanence office was still open and they arrived to a bathroom with a happy toddler in the bath, a panicked mom and a flood of water making it's way to our bedroom. Every towel in the house was on the floor but there was just far too much water! Luckily Zuri was peacefully asleep in her crib. Which is great because just a few moments before the water episode she had let out one of those newborn explosive diaper poops!  Oh boy!

How awesome is this post? Hope you weren't reading it while having lunch or something. 

So that was part of my day. Now these little ones are finally asleep and I get to open up my laptop and get working on my business which is helping some deserving women lose some weight. Nothing makes me happier then receiving an email/text or whatsapp message letting me know that someone has reached their goal weight. It makes me all giddy inside. Not just because of the physical but because I know how hard each woman has worked to regain their confidence and feel comfortable within their bodies. That feeling is just priceless! 

So this post is really to check in and to let my future great grandchildren know that motherhood is a crazy amazing journey. Every mother is not the same and it is important to look within and be the best that you can be. You need to learn to understand yourself and what makes you happy. I love being a stay at home working mother. For a long time I concentrated solely on my little Urijah and that was glorious. Yet, there was a part of me I was missing. Some moms don't have that feeling. But I had to admit to myself that I'm the kind of person who likes to have an influence outside of my home. I enjoy working and connecting with other women. I'm a born change agent and when I tuck that talent under the rug then I fizzle into an unhappy little prune. A fire dims and this year I decided to ignite it because I want my children to grow up knowing who their mother really is. I want to teach them by example so that they too can have the confidence to live life by design and not by default. So this is me writing to you and saying that it's ok for you to be you. 

Do what makes you happy mama. A happy mom will raise happy children. This I know. Don't ask me how, I just know it in my heart. 

Zuri's Birth Story Part 2

A few hours from now little Zuri will be a week old! 

So let's pick up where we left off. Me being a crazy loud pregnant woman at the reception area of the hospital. 

A wheelchair was called in and off I was wheeled into the labor and delivery department. Once we got there I was asked to get changed into one of those very attractive hospital gowns that avails an unwelcome breeze on your bottom. Still feeling somewhat brave, I announced to the nurses that I wanted a natural delivery. I'm almost certain that neither one of them thought I'd be able to handle the pain. Who can blame them? And then for what seemed like forever, I was asked some crucial yet ridiculous "check-in" questions when you consider the fact that I was in active labor! And this my friends is why you should have children within wedlock. Your husband can be there to answer everything there is to know about you while you moan and groan through this life giving miraculous experience.

Talking about miracles. An angel of a nurse appeared. She was one of those pro natural birth people I'd read about in my extensive online research. Her voice was soft. Every time she spoke I felt like I was in a yoga retreat. She then taught dear husband how to do the same thing and his manly version of "breathe, breathe, nearly there, imagine you're somewhere calm and beautiful...you're doing so well, nearly there" was just downright hilarious. Maybe it was only funny to me as I knew how awkward he probably felt. Either way, they both helped to keep me calm and whenever dear husband forgot to call on his yogi voice, I'd yell something like "you gotta TALK ME THROUGH IT!!!". Please note that at this point I was still only 4cm dilated. 

As with Urijah's delivery, I had coached my husband into fully understanding my needs during labor. With Urijah, I made it very clear that an epidural was an absolute must and therefore the mission was to get to the hospital on time. With this delivery, I had made a huge mistake in asking him to talk me out of requesting an epidural, should I cave in the sight of pain. So that's what he did. I'd ask for an epidural and he'd remind me that I had told him to not allow me to get one. This back and forth regarding the epidural got old real quick as I no longer cared about my previous wishes for a natural delivery. And anyway, the nurses kept telling me that I couldn't get one until I progressed in dilation. ARGGH! I remember my frustration. Then it was suggested that we take a walk in the hallway to move things along. And so we did.

About 3mins into the walk my dinner landed on the floor. I was raced back into the room where I chose to take a very long shower - which was mostly me sitting on a chair and enjoying the hot water beating on my back. The pain was still there but somehow it felt well controlled by the power of water rushing down my body. After a while I wondered whether I should step out as I didn't want to completely waste the hospital water. Getting out was a good idea in theory...I guess the warm water made my brain soft as I landed on all fours, naked, dizzy and completely exhausted. At that point dear husband rushed in followed by a nurse. They escorted me to the bed where the doctor announced that I was 8-9cm dilated. This was an answer to a prayer! 

Things progressed fairly quickly from there. I was mute throughout the following moments as the intensity of my contractions were just unreal. Neither husband, nurses or doctor could get a word out of me. My heart was also in pain as it was announced that it was far too late for an epidural. They were able to give me some pain killer that took the edge off - that pain killer brought my voice back but didn't succeed in masking the physical pain. 

And then after a manic-elongated-drawn-from-the-depths-of-my-soul-like scream came our sweet little daughter. Dear husband was once again a champ at motivating me through the delivery. Almost like a coach motivating from the side lines with great enthusiasm and a huge smile. 

We had chosen to wait until delivery to find out the gender and neither one of us expected a girl. The doctor was so busy handling things that she forgot to announce whether the baby was a girl or boy. After she handed her to me I waited for a moment before asking "Well?". She absentmindedly peaked and said "oh, it's a girl" before going about her business of doing what doctors do. 

And that is how Zuri arrived.

The end:) rather, the beginning of a new chapter in our lives.

Baby Zuri birth story Part 1

Well imagine that!

We are now officially parents of 2! I don't think it's sunk in yet.

Baby Zuri was born July 14th at 8:30am at Sterling Regional Hospital here in Colorado. At that point I was about 39wks pregnant and had settled into the thought that I'd be pregnant forever. Moms, you know what I'm talking about here. That very point in your pregnancy when you have resigned yourself to the fact that you'll be overdue.

The day before the delivery was a strange one. Dear husband decided to take baby boy swimming so that I could rest. But instead of resting I took to cleaning up the house. Then I had a crazy urge to shop for things I don't really need. So when they returned we went grocery shopping followed by hours of home decor shopping (where I did my best to pursued myself not to be wasteful). That ended up in us getting home late, cleaning the downstairs, eating sandwiches for dinner and baby boy going to sleep at 10pm. Dear husband and I stayed up a little later until he decided to head to bed as I was finding more and more things for us to "fix" or "clean". Sometime around 1pm I decided that maybe it was time to rest.

That rest time didn't last too long as I was violently awoken by sharp pains on my back. It all started near 3:30am. Even though I new these were signs of labor, I did my best to relax as I wanted it to be morning so that we wouldn't have to drop baby boy off at someone's house so early. I didn't want him to be uncomfortable or inconvenienced. So I waited. And then finally at around 4:30am I couldn't wait any longer. We got in contact with my visiting teacher who agreed to watch Urijah while as we headed to the hospital. She thankfully suggested to meet us half way which was very thoughtful of her as she lives on a farm and getting to her home would mean braving a bumpy road while suffering through some mean contractions. During the drive Urijah in his sweet little morning voice asked "where we going mommy?". I told him that he was going to Janae's house to play with the horses and that mommy was going to go have the baby. "At the doctor?" was his next question. To which I replied "yep". He then closed our conversation with "ok, see you later mommy". And that was it. We were pleasantly surprised at how well he took to the whole situation.

We then arrived at the hospital at 5am and I became like one of those deranged pregnant women you see in the movies making a complete scene. At least if I ever have to act the part in a movie or tv show, I'll be fully prepared with clear life experience to draw from:). Luckily there were no other patients around, just nurses and dear husband. I later heard that the nurses suspected that I'd have the baby right there in the check in area - the pain was that loud and that real! And then began the grueling 3 and 1/2hrs before she graced us with her presence.

TBC...

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[This was the last recording of the baby bump - en route to the grocery store and fueling up on my superfood that helped me have a healthy happy pregnancy . Wearing a dress that managed to fit all through the pregnancy!]