World Cup

Ok, baby boy has outdone himself with strange, yet super cute life moments.

This morning right before leaving for church, I noticed him busying himself, playing on the floor outside the bathroom, minding his own business. Naturally this pleased us as husband and I were struggling to share the bathroom mirror with last minute hair/face touch ups - we need a double sink. Then something told me to look closely at the little Schamel on the floor. And there he was, forehead creased with concentration as he entertained himself by filling both my shoes with water from his sippy cup. I pointed this out to dear husband who found great humour in the matter at hand. Baby boy looked confused at our reaction yet proud of his new exploration method. Luckily no damage was done, nothing a paper towel couldn't fix. And off we went to church.

Our drive to church, or anywhere else, now includes narration from the backseat. Since learning new words from our little home-school program, baby continues to name all familiar objects out loud. From bus, car seat, to "a dog". He gets especially excited when spotting a dog. Poor kid, he's certainly into those four-legged friends. Unfortunately he'll have to curb his enthusiasm as no way am I going to be cleaning after him and an animal. Well, I suppose we'll consider owning one once he's a teenager. A responsible teenager, if there's such a thing...And it would have to be an outside dog, no negotiations. He'll also have to take it with him when leaving for college (I've just recently read about certain universities allowing dog owners to bring their pets to live with them in dorms). In the meantime he seems content with squealing in excitement every time he sees a dog. And his excitement makes everyone happy, including the dog owners if they happen to be in ear shot.

We don't know any dog owners besides grandma and grandpa Schamel. That's probably because most of the people around us live in apartments. Imagine living with pets in a small apartment. No thank you. Alright let me stop dogging on dogs, they're cute, as long as they are not mine...I've heard people say the same thing about children. Ah, talking about kids, yesterday our home was filled with little ones. First I babysat for a friend from church. She's an artist (painter) and had a class to teach. She has two little girls who were incredibly easy to babysit. There was no fuss, no crying and nothing I couldn't handle. This was my first time babysitting while a parent myself. At the beginning it felt slightly overwhelming as baby boy is in a process of learning to share. Luckily the 2hr nursery time at church has helped, that plus the two days a week joint home-school sessions. We also have a once a week playgroup which we attend when the schedule allows. Even with all these opportunities to learn social skills, the little one struggles with the concept of sharing. I find that it's better when we're at another person's house but here at our place he becomes slightly territorial. It took about 30mins to an hour and 2 time-outs for him to treat our guests fairly. So by the time our friends Ty and Roberta arrived with their kids, baby boy was a seasoned host showing the boys where the toys were and allowing them to have fun.

The favourite toys are balls from every sport. He especially loves basketball and soccer. Whenever you ask him what he wants to do, he runs to his room pointing to the hoop shouting "shoot". And then commences a game which often leaves me out of breath. It's a good thing he's also into soccer because our lives right now are all about the World Cup. I think I've mentioned here before that soccer is something I watch and love every 4yrs. This year is a bit of a disappointment though as we're only able to watch 10 games. This is because we've become financially disciplined and are striving to live a life where "saving gives us more pleasure than spending". So, no cable. On the bright side, the final match will be on free television yasssssss! Hopefully that match will be the fantastic Germans against the my World Cup winner's prediction, Netherlands. You heard it here first. Well, I don't even know if the scheduling of matches will allow for them to play against one another. Moving along. For the sake of my friendship with Roberta and the fact that we always want the hosting nation to do well, go Brasilia! And also because husband will probably read this sometime in future, good luck USA! Let me also add that for the passed 12yrs I've been by Brazil's corner, then they disappointed me in 2010. In fact, since watching the Brazilian team for the first time in 2002, no other Brazilian team has brought me that level of joy. That was a team of stars who played like a team. The unsung hero of that year has got to be Rivaldo. Oh, well, I must move on, there will never be a Roberto Carlos, a Cafu and the first Ronaldo. That's the thing with sports, it takes another kind of personality to follow any sport every single year. There's a lot of joy and a good dose of disappointment. It's not for the weak at heart. If I'm stronger next year I might consider joining the Barcelona fan base. Ah, on second thought, and for the sake of my marriage, I might have to grow a love for ManU. Sigh.

The things a wife does for her husband.

Life Lately

Treat Yourself with Kindness

One of my favorite things about blogging is the opportunity to open up conversations with those who read this space. Thank you for the comments and emails. I especially enjoy meeting new people and getting to know other parents from around the world. Recent emails have brought on new friendships and I love a good friendship. 

It's always fun to know that no matter our life circumstances we're all on the same boat, just trying to do our best for those whom we love. And that includes ourselves. As we grow we seem to forget the importance of caring for ourselves too! For parents this is often seen as a selfish thought, so hear me out. Simple example, I find it important to exercise 3 times a week so that I can be physically strong and fit enough to keep up with the energetic baby boy. This may not seem like a big deal but it is to me, not only for the health benefits but because it allows me some me time. 

Taking care of oneself is often the last thing on a parent's mind and it might not even make it to the 'to do list' - can you tell that I'm a to do list person? Something dear husband likes to say is "happy wife, happy life". And it's true! Women have many a talent, and one of these is the ability to bring light into a home bbbbut we are also capable of creating an unhappy space. This doesn't mean that the happiness of all depends solely on us. At the end of the day we all have the responsibility to choose a positive emotional state of mind. But now we're talking about the lady of the house. Because of our great responsibilities (which is hopefully shared with husband), we owe it to ourselves to be the best that we can be. A good place to start is by thinking back to positive things that you may have enjoyed before the current life. Revisiting these ideas will help map out a route to bringing back your personal spark. It might be hanging out with friends minus baby and husband, going shopping, taking up a sport, a weekend away, whatever tickles your fancy or rather whatever your wallet can allow. What about that hobby you've always wanted to try out? Or just chilling for 2hrs and reading your scriptures and getting into a good book, all uninterrupted. Get a Do Not Disturb sign if this will help.

Moments alone are good. They are healthy. They are necessary. And nobody is going to schedule that time for you. In all life's busy days, you owe it to yourself to reconnect with YOU. And you'll find that as you make yourself a priority and treat yourself with more kindness, you'll have more love for those who depend on you.You might even experience more appreciation from those around you.

I'm incredibly grateful to have attended church a few weeks ago when these thoughts were a part of the Relief Society lesson. I had been playing with ideas on how to become a more well rounded person when I realized that I didn't pay myself much attention. In a room full of women I realized that this was a common problem, we put others first and treat ourselves as second class citizens. Well since then I've re arranged some things. And I know this totally sounds like an like one of those weird advertisement with punchlines. But know that I'm not selling a product, just sharing a thought that has brought much joy into our home. That you matter, so treat yourself with kindness.

#ThrowbackThursday

Popped by the land of twitter and SowetoTv had connected me to a tweet that included this picture. Yes, once upon a time I thought mohawks were cool, I still do, in fact I now have a minihawk (new word¿). A rebel with absolutely no cause, just scissors. Anyway thought I'd share it because the quote is cool. Right? Can't remember saying that but darn diggidy I'll take it.

Also, it's been a while since I've included a pic of dear Robdawg, poor guy, I don't want him to feel left out, even though I'm one hundred percent certain he'd rather be left out. Well here is a picture of the soon to be 25 years old dude. Oh, yes, he's younger than me.

Best people

Baby boy is busy singing himself to sleep.

Dear husband surprised us by coming back from work just in time to give baby his bath and put him to bed. That was 2hrs ago. And now the singing has morphed into a little cry. It's a soft quiet like crying so I doubt there's any tears. And since I've already gone in there to, I guess, help soothe him, I'll now wait it out. Not to be selfish or anything bbbbut I ssssure wwwwould lllllike to read my book, so pray with me that he sleeps soon.

Ahhh, fantastic moment of the day was a phone call to my sweet 75yrs old friend, Ronda. She's one of the best people I know! Robert (that's husband) and I were lucky enough to rent from her a few weeks before moving to South Africa. She's just wonderful. The kind of person I'd love to be when rocking the 70s. My dear friend still puts make up on everyday, she enjoys tasteful fashion, she keeps active and has a social life way more active than mine. Husband used to joke about how her calendar put us to shame. She's the kind of person who genuinely cares about people no matter their background and when she says "I love you", I believe it.  She's also incredibly witty and is able to laugh at the physical and mental malfunctions that come with age. Hmmm, maybe malfunction isn't the best word to use here, excuse my vocabulary, it's rather limited lately, hence the binge secondhand book buying that happened earlier this afternoon. Back to the lovely Ronda, oh how l love my friend, she is a beauty. She helps me feel good about everyday life by remembering to focus on what matters most. I love love her. I would cook for her sometimes and today she told me that she still adds spinach to her fried chicken. I used to do that all the time! It's awesome that she remembers little things like that, it makes me feel like she misses me too.

The many reasons I love my friend 1) her love for the Lord 2) her stubborn nature 3) her fierce independence and my absolute favorite 4) the love she has for her late husband. He passed away 6 years ago and she cared for him till the moment he took his last breath. They had been together since she was fourteen. He proposed soon after they met and her reply was "Jimmy, let's at least wait till I'm 16". And sure enough, she turned 16 and married her Jimmy who was I think 2 years older than her. She used to tell me stories about their love, their travels, the babies, their first home, the ups and downs and everything else that makes up a life well lived. A story I think of often was from when they were still engaged. While standing in the kitchen (where we had our best conversations) Ronda held up her textured slender left hand, trying hard to keep it from shaking, she took me back to when she was 16 sitting on the steps of her parents' porch. To a time when her hand was full of vitality and youth, she would hold it up so that the little diamond could catch the sun. And all the while, thinking of her Jimmy.

Even though the diamond was later upgraded, her love for Jimmy remained. Strengthened by the memories they shared.

My good friend Ronda is one of the best people I know.

Happy

Colorado weather is just amazing these days. Now if it could be like this all year round I'd be living in summer heaven. 

Baby boy and I just came back from a water park. He's taking a nap and I'm lazing about, eating an apple and listening to No Doubt as I type. Yaaaaasss! That's how I say 'yes' these days. It's a feel good elongated yes that forces you to smile because there's much to smile about. Right?

Now the differences between SA and the USA still fascinate me. Here they've taken money and created structures where kids splash through shooting water. Back home it's a matter of taking a hosepipe and turning the tap/faucet on and hello DIY splash park. Either way the kids still enjoy themselves. I love that about children. They have an enviable ability to enjoy life no matter the current circumstances. We adults could do wonders with such a care free life approach. It isn't easy when dealing with daily worries and unexpected life detours. But we've got to choose happy. Because being happy feels so good. And it's contagious. Are you feeling it yet? Put your favorite music on and then you'll feel the Yaaaaasss!

Peace

Dating in marriage

I love date nights!

We don't have it often enough but did manage to go out during the weekend on a double date with friends. They have a brand new baby, baby number 3 and the mommy doesn't even look like she was ever pregnant. It's incredible how the body is able to bounce back in that way. Before getting married I really worried about the idea of having kids and never being able to get back to a shape I'm comfortable with. I don't worry about that as much anymore mainly because the myths of pregnancy have been set aside. We're all different and naturally pregnancies are different. The way our bodies respond after delivery is also different. For me being pregnant was a major health blessing. I learned how to eat well, became more acquainted with healthy portions and healthy snacking. Luckily there were no unhealthy or strange cravings. I even started to exercise, this was a big deal considering the last time I broke a sweat from working out was in...high school. After baby boy was born the healthy lifestyle remained a habit. This habit is something I'm able to pass on to him by continuing to create a home where healthy eating and staying active is the norm. We still enjoy the $5 pizza once in a while, but it doesn't taste as good anymore. I'm into Chinese food these days, YUM! There's a restaurant nearby named something I can't pronounce. It's good that I can't spell it either just in case I write it here and it happens to be a Japanese restaurant and here I am talking about Chinese food. A trap for exposing ignorance for sure. Alright back to the pizza, I guess I continue to eat it because I read somewhere that it's good to give your body a break from healthy food in order to give your metabolism a boost. Don't quote me on it. But seriously though, it kind of makes sense in an odd way. Or does it? Oh well, it works for me.

I started writing this post talking about date night. We definitely need more of those. It's nice to dress up and see each other looking young and attractive. No modesty here. Just truth. Every day we wear our roles: mother, father, husband, wife. And sometimes you forget how cute your partner is outside of the daily grind and the to do lists. Date nights are good man. It reminds us that at the end of the day he's my guy and I'm his girl.

That is all.

ps: turns out the restaurant is actually Vietnamese

Being a parent

This whole post will be about baby boy because he is awesome and growing up too fast.

Every day he does something so cute that I need to pinch myself just so I can remember that this is life and not a dream. This afternoon we took a nap together after a morning of nonstop play - building blocks, colouring in, learning to read and playing soccer. Exhausting stuff. In between the hanging out he's sure to let me know when it's time for a snack or lunch or water. Yesterday I was late with breakfast and had to rush as he stood by the table repeating the word "bekaaas". All I could do was smile while replying that it'll be ready soon. It's funny to think that someday he'll be making his own breakfast. But for now I'm happy to serve my little sweet boy.

We've started a program called brillkids which teaches babies and toddlers to read. The concept is pretty exciting and has taught me to enjoy the journey rather than focusing on the results. A friend introduced me to the idea of teaching baby boy to read and after spending time with her and her son, I was hooked. After about a month of what I call 'school sessions' baby boy's vocabulary has increased immensely. He points and names everything from birds to keys. It feels really good to see the excitement on his face when he recognizes an object with its name. I've also been better at speaking Xhosa with him and he is beginning to respond as he does to English. Kids are so smart! It fascinating to watch how quick they're able to absorb and retain information.

With all the learning and the growing ability to express himself, this dear baby is becoming a touch more assertive. He gets his point across with the new found words and when one isn't at hand, he's actions are loud enough. He is also more aware of his personal space which is something I am learning to respect. I've found that when he doesn't want a hug, he doesn't want a hug. And as a parent it's possible to assume a superior position and force a hug regardless of the obvious objection. That forceful approach doesn't sit well with me anymore. I'm no authority in child behavior or communication but when it comes to my kid I feel that such a forceful act, even out of love, is teaching the child the wrong message. It says that his/her little voice doesn't matter. And because an individual is older,  they have a certain power over them and in this case, over their body. I understand that I'm not the first person to raise a child but it's nice to remember that this is my kid and I'll raise him the best way I know how. And by that I guess what I'm saying is that: if my kid doesn't want a hug, he doesn't want a hug, don't force it. In the same way we as adults get to choose who is or isn't allowed in our personal bubble. I would imagine that a baby or toddler's personal space is even more sensitive than ours because they haven't yet learned society's "polite" ways. This might be even more of a reason to respect their space and allow them the time to freely express themselves before that freedom is condensed into wearing a daily life mask.

This being a parent thing is pleasantly challenging. It grows and stretches you. And no matter how much advice you seek, you still have to do the work yourself. And this is important work, you're helping shape and influence thoughts, ideas, dreams and potential. I have a feeling that baby boy already knows who he is. Life will happen and he might forget. But luckily he has parents who care for him and it is my prayer that he remembers how he was brought up. Every day we put in our best efforts to assist him in having the freedom, guidance and love to comfortably be himself. And until he can fully verbalize and assert his position on this beautiful earth, trust that his mama and dada will be his advocates.

Baby boy swims

Monday has always been a slow day in my life. I guess the weekend is often action packed that Monday is unfortunately left to pick up the pieces.

Aside from doing laundry, baby boy and I enjoyed a skype chat with a friend, a short walk and some fun play. During our hangout session he tried to pursued me into taking him swimming. He did this by pointing to the baby swim seat and heading to the door repeating the words "water, go". Luckily it wasn't warm enough to be lounging by the pool side and anyways the swim stuff is more of a Robdawg department. And it's not like baby boy has been swimming forever, his first pool experience was over the weekend and now the poor kid is hooked.

Ah, the weekend.  Warm, lovely and busy. Some spring cleaning on Saturday - don't you just love it when the windows gleam with cleanliness. We had dinner with friends, enjoyed time visiting teaching, uplifting testimonies at church, pool side joy, cooking. And it all rounded off with Robdawg and I enjoying the sunset on the balcony as we read our individual books.   His is about a military sniper, mine is about a young couple in their first year of marriage. And yet we make sense together.